Some random thoughts on the last day of 2022

Almost 2 hours left until New Year's Eve. I am extremely empty but sad right now, just like the past 2 months. Things have crazily turned upside down this year, maybe because I was so into Stranger Things that the series found its way from the screen to my real life. Anyway, back to the present, it is totally a mess for me, as I can't get over the "painful" fall and I feel like I will never ever get over it. I have been trying to calm myself, chill out and think about the positive sides of the problem. But everything is so hard for me. For someone who truly enjoys every slice of life and little happiness among humans, my faith in life has gone without my awareness. 

Scrolling dozens of articles full of images of how crowded people outside are, how happy they are while hanging out with each other, contemplating on their achievements throughout this past year, and how expectantly they are waiting for the countdown to jump into a fresh, prosperous beginning. These all firmly build a concrete fence around my solitude, not to mention that I am trying my best to hold back my tears. This shouldn't be something that a person experiences on the last day of the year. Unfortunately, it is all mine. To be honest, binge-watching Wednesday the whole evening made me feel a little bit better because it taught me a valuable lesson that I should never let others affect me. Yeah, just give an eff about what they say. I don't really care. Well, that is something that I am slowly cultivating, despite the fact that it is really easy to ruin my mood. 

The mist is all around me, the sky is blurred and the rainbow seems so far away. Seriously, I can't be any more pessimistic. At this moment, I frankly don't believe in my old motto any more, which is trying every day and enjoying fruitful results later on. I don't want to do anything or set any plan for the future. And of course, what is waiting for me at the end of the tunnel remains a mystery. Whether it is light or another storm, I hope that I will have enough courage and luck to make everything a blessing in disguise.

Well, moaning time is over. At the end of the day, I still have to keep going forward. Just put some words here and let's see how far I can go in 2023. 

My target destination in 2023, hopefully I will make it

I hope you will bounce back stronger. Happy new year, my dear.

"Lord, I thank You for sunshine

Thank You for rain

Thank You for joy

Thank You for pain

It's a beautiful day

It's a beautiful day"